July 13, 2020

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Stacie Bannon

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Personal Growth

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Why Self-esteem and Self-care are Spiritual

​Spiritual wellbeing means the ability to experience and integrate meaning and purpose in life through a person’s connectedness with self, others, art, music, literature, nature, or a power greater than oneself, (God, ‘the Divine’, Spirit Guides, Angels, the Universe). Spiritual wellbeing is about our inner life and its relationship with the wider world. 

We all know that believing in yourself and accepting yourself for who you are is an important factor in success, relationships, and happiness. Self-esteem plays an important role in living a flourishing life. Self-esteem provides us with belief in our abilities and the motivation to carry them out, ultimately reaching fulfillment as we navigate life with a positive outlook. 

​Self-worth is a feeling that you are a good person who deserves to be treated with respect. On the other hand, ‘self-value’ is more behavioral than emotional. It’s more about how you act toward what you value, including yourself, than how you feel about yourself compared to others. 

Self-esteem is what we think and feel and believe about ourselves. Self-worth is recognizing ‘I am greater than all of those things.’ It is a deep knowing that I am of value, that I am loveable, necessary to this life, and of incomprehensible worth. 

We must try to take good care of ourselves to have self-esteem and self-value. 

+ Self-care activities are things we can do to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Your ability to attend to and meet your own personal needs is so important. Self-care will increase empathy positively – meaning we can stay objective and set healthy boundaries more easily with others rather than feeling drained or taken advantage of. 

+ Self-care is sometimes mistaken for selfishness, but it is not. It’s vital to our personal satisfaction in life. It is a lack of self-care during times of distress that has a negative effect on your ability to deal with life issues constructively.  

+ Self-care ensures that you have taken care of YOUR needs so you can operate from a state of inner balance and peace. That is a big part of being a Spiritual human. 

Common reasons for people not engaging in regular self-care is that they “don’t have time” or “I’m too stressed”. Or we simply are in the habit of not taking care of ourselves. There are many different self-care practices you can easily do. Even small actions once a day matter greatly. These actions can become a life-long habit if you do them daily for 4 – 6 weeks.  

Amazingly, new actions are integrated on a Soul-level and become part of ‘who we are’ after 4-6 weeks if we are consistent with our actions during that time and after.

Write down on an index card what you need to remember to stay positive and focus on self-care. Keep it simple. Start with only a few easy things and once you mastered them add one more thing each week.

Make many copies on index cards putting them all over: in your purse, tape them to your bedroom wall, work desk, car dash, by your TV on the wall. You can make it a wallpaper on your cell phone. We greatly benefit from a constant visual reminder.

Once self-care becomes a part of everyday life, we become our own support system instead of needing something outside of us to fulfill us or just shutting down. Doing kind and caring things for ourselves, particularly when we are struggling, can help us to cope and move through difficult emotional experiences so much more productively and gracefully.

SELF-CARE ACTIVITIES THAT BUILD SELF-ESTEEM:

SENSORY: walks in nature touching trees and flowers, reading uplifting quotes or books, creative activities, cooking or baking, aromatherapy, caring for plants or a small garden, soothing new age music, put beautifully scented lotion on, buy really soft bedsheets and launder them weekly, add fresh flowers to your home, paint a room a new soothing color, turn off social media and the news a few days a week

EMOTIONAL: stop worrying, ground and center yourself, heal your emotional wounds, set healthy boundaries, make positive CONSCIOUS choices, let go of guilt and resentment, don’t worry about what others think (freedom!), soothe yourself first before soothing others, give back emotional garbage that does not belong to you, learn ‘emotional regulation’ techniques, use positive and realistic self-talk, be accountable for your actions. Always be honest

PHYSICAL: regular exercise, yoga, walks, hot bath with natural salts, drink enough water daily, eat sensibly, simplify and declutter your home, see your body positively and important as your physical ‘temple’, drink chamomile tea in the evening to calm yourself, be financially responsible (money has energy), find holistic remedies to take good care of yourself, make your bed every morning, tidy the house for 15 minutes after dinner, go on or plan a vacation, let go of worry for better health 

SPIRITUAL: meditation, sage/smudge your home and yourself, try to connect with your Spirit Guides, do guided mediations by video or audio to relax, balance your chakras (many ways to do this), burn candles that you love, put gorgeous crystals or stones in your home and car, try Tarot cards or a pendulum, walk in the grass barefoot, research New Age subjects that interest you 

SOCIAL: call a friend (not text), visit someone, learn to communicate more efficiently of you need to, listen more, join a club or group until you find one you like, say hello and smile at people (no response needed), hug and touch people, clear out people who are negative, foster your friendships, go to an event or activity whether you feel like it or not (we love to make excuses and stay in our shell). Be attached to life but take time for peaceful solitude when you need it. 

ARTICLES ABOUT EMOTIONAL REGULATION
https://www.verywellmind.com/how-you-can-practice-self-regulation-4163536
​https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/201304/10-essential-emotion-regulation-skills-adults
https://positivepsychology.com/dbt-dialectical-behavior-therapy/
https://www.livehappy.com/self/9-ways-improve-your-emotional-regulation-skills?nopaging=1
https://www.mindfulnessmuse.com/dialectical-behavior-therapy/how-to-use-emotion-regulation-coping-skills
​https://www.mindfulnessmuse.com/dialectical-behavior-therapy/top-10-ways-to-tolerate-distress

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