Everyone had dealt with someone projecting there “stuff” onto them. I’ve learned (the hard way) to quickly extract myself from these kinds of situations because once somebody decides they’re going to be “right” at all costs, it’s time to peacefully walk away.
Here are some tips to better deal with people who project their perceptions and negativity onto you. With the New Year here, it may help you to enjoy it in peace and harmony.
It’s natural to want to defend ourselves, or if we care about the person, let them know that their actions are not helpful or constructive. You will have to put conscious effort into dealing with this situation differently. Of course you can do it. You are a self-directed, capable, and intelligent adult. New actions = new results.
When you don’t do what that person wants or expects, they may become controlling or manipulative, making up stories in their head, and they will absolutely project onto you. They may become passive/aggressive in their pursuit to control a situation, or to be seen as the victim that they are not. Please do not feed it at all.
#1. Remember that their projections are not the truth. It is their ineffective defense mechanism to deal with the world. Do not begin to doubt yourself or your self-worth because of this negative display.
#2. Be prepared to keep your distance and set a clear boundary between you and this individual. Let it be known that this type of behavior will not be tolerated by you and keep yourself far away from its reach.
#3. When someone projects on you, it’s important to remember that you’re not responsible for what happens. You didn’t create the situation and you shouldn’t be held accountable for it. You do not need to “fix” anything, you only need to walk away.
When someone projects on others on a somewhat regular basis, they usually have a high degree of unaccountability. They often make their problems and responsibilities someone else’s. You are not responsible for another adult, so don’t allow someone to draw you into their dysfunctional behaviors.
#4. When we are in this position we can choose to NOT judge someone. When you judge someone you are engaging in the negativity, and it makes you feel worse in the long run because you are holding onto that pain from the interaction. It means you have an emotional wound to heal when you judge someone else. It’s not right or wrong, or good or bad, just deal with your own emotional wound.
#5. Get perspective again, and lean into seeing the situation objectively without any judgement. Do some simple and positive thing that brings immediate relief (that costs nothing – and is creative or productive); something that feels good to you to help you to find balance and inner peace again. Get fresh air too. Don’t shop, eat, go online for hours, drink too much, sit and stew, or take impulsive actions that will make you feel bad the next day or next week. Have a few things ready to do when you need a positive and feel-good distraction quickly.
#6. Most importantly, when someone does project onto you or are hurtful, it is never about you. Do not take it personally. It is always about them. Clear that negativity from you and move forward positively
#7. Pay attention to your Master Spirit Guide, maybe they’re trying to calm you or help you to walk away. Or, as soon as your gut intuition tells you something is off, stop engaging right away. No defending, explaining, pacifying, or seeking common ground. You are not wrong to want to be heard or respected, it’s just that the offender is not listening to you anyway. They are choosing to see it as an imaginary battle to be won, not an adult discussion to work something out.
Choose your peace of mind over everything. Meditate, connect with your guides, take a long walk, journal, do whatever works for you to keep perspective and inner peace. Let 2023 be a year of serenity, satisfaction, and happiness for you and your loved ones.
