SOULMATES: A (love) soulmate is almost always someone we’ve had past lives with, and in many different capacities like close friends, cousins or siblings; not always in a spouse or partner relationship. A soulmate connection can be very intense and profound. But it does not mean that it will work out in this lifetime to be in a satisfying, loving relationship together.
A healthy soulmate will act respectful to you, and always be honest and faithful. They will let you be an independent, capable and happy adult. You get to be who you really are, and have your own interests and friends. You can comfortably speak your truth and be heard. They are dependable and stable; you feel safe with them. You should also have these attributes, while fostering and encouraging all these things in them too.
If someone you think is your soulmate is not doing these things, then that’s their “free will” in action. But it means they’re not a good match for you in this lifetime. You need to accept the reality of the relationship and take action to move on.
No honest psychic is going to tell you your future soulmate’s name, what they look like, how many kids, exactly when you will meet them, etc. That is just to seem “all knowing” or their ego is getting in the way. You can get information about their personalities and personal attributes, and a possible time-frame like a season, but there are no guarantees. Your soulmate may have stuff to work on themselves even if you are ready.
We each have a few soulmates in our lifetime. We get as many as we need. Again, just because someone is a soulmate does not mean it will work out, or we will find true happiness with them.
They have “free will” just like you do to create their life through their choices and actions. So if they are making bad or harmful decisions, or not good to you, it’s your responsibility to end the relationship – then clean out your wounds and move forward positively without them.
When we put everything into another person we will always be left feeling like we have nothing if it does not work out. We will always be waiting for something or someone outside of us to make us feel better, make us feel whole and complete, or satisfy what we think is missing. That is all an illusion.
Everything you need for happiness and success is inside of you alone. Our soulmates are just a complement to our life. They are not there to “complete” us. They can add incredible depth and happiness to our life, but you are the powerful creator of YOUR life.
You cannot wait for something magical to happen, or work out just because you really want it to. Be grounded in reality, and focus positively on yourself. You have to help yourself. That is not someone else’s job, it’s yours.
Some of my clients when looking for their soulmates are so focused outside of themselves because they are almost exclusively looking for a soulmate and love. They stop enjoying life. They start thinking they are not whole. That is their choice, but it is a fallacy.
Sometimes your soulmate will not come into your life until you change your thoughts, actions and behaviors that were not working when you get into relationships historically.
It would be a recipe for disaster with a new person until you change your ways to new self-empowering and productive actions and behaviors that are much more healthy and beneficial to you, not the other person.
It’s never about judgment or punishment from our Spirit Guides or “the Divine” when a soulmate relationship doesn’t work out – we are never punished or judged. We are always loved and helped. It’s about you and others using your beautiful gift of ‘free will’ to create your own life and make your own choices. To be able to consciously choose your life partner, and the quality of relationships that you have in your life.
Build a life for yourself that you love whether you are in a relationship or not. It’s always okay to want love and companionship, but never at the expense of your self-esteem, sense of wholeness, and ability to thrive even if you’re single or lonely. We are all beautiful, competent, and worthy adults.