Are you called sometimes ‘over-sensitive,’ a ‘people pleaser’ – or do you lose your identity in a relationship? You can want to fix everyone, or make sure everyone is happy before you. Do you feel affected by other people’s emotions, especially negative ones? Feeling the emotions and vibes in a room can be draining. Or are certain people exhausting to be around?
Do you want a name for this? You’re an Empath.
What is An Empath?
An ’empath’ is an individual who is highly sensitive to the emotions and energy of others. They may sometimes physically experience the emotions of those in close proximity. Empaths have a natural ability to perceive underlying aspects of situations that are not immediately apparent. This may involve sensing the emotions of someone they are familiar with or detecting the general atmosphere of a room, such as fear, anger, or anxious energy.
Empaths are often intuitive and can have natural abilities for emotional or physical healing. They often feel compelled to help or save others, which is often detrimental to their own well-being. It’s important to recognize that this approach is not always be beneficial or healthy for anyone involved. Therefore, this article will discuss ways to understand the nature of being an empath and provide guidance on how to ensure one’s own happiness and well-being.
How Empaths Absorb the Energy of Others
The empaths who are prone to problems are what I call ‘high level empaths. They are the emotional sponges of the universe, absorbing the emotions and energy that is around them.
Most high-level empaths are prone to take on the problems and pain of others, as though that will lessen it or make it go away, which it won’t. Or their pain is becoming yours so you want it to go away. Many empaths are driven by feelings of guilt or obligation, feeling bad if they feel happy when others aren’t. Empaths are often people-pleasers and ‘enablers.’
Empaths often don’t even know they are doing this, and don’t understand these feelings are not their own. For instance, you might feel quite good, then suddenly for no reason you feel sad or anxious. It can be due to a friend or coworker feeling upset and you are picking up on this. This is a ‘sympathetic attachment’, and it’s not unusual to do this in sympathy with another person. Unfortunately, it’s not healthy either.
Empaths Can Suffer Unknowingly
Empaths can suffer at times because they don’t understand what is happening to them. This can be because they are too externally focused and not focused on themselves or centered. They don’t understand why they are feeling depressed, anxious, angry or full of guilt.
To feel other’s emotion and energy in their presence can occur often for an empath unless they learn to help themselves. For example, when someone is angry, an empath may feel anger throughout their body and it can be distressing. Empaths may also want to try to control everything because they feel ‘out of control’ being bounced around by people’s emotions and energy.
Children and teenagers especially benefit from understanding what being an empath is in a way they can understand so they can deal with it more effectively. Children and teens who learn to set healthy boundaries, to emotionally regulate, and how to self-sooth deal with life much more productively and peacefully.
Empathy is a Poweful Tool to Connect With Others
Being an empath does not have to be detrimental or exhausting. It can serve as a powerful and effective tool for fostering connections with others and aiding them in their healing process. Additionally, it can bring immense joy through interaction and relationship-building, especially as one learns to manage it effectively. However, it is essential to take care of oneself before helping others.
Mastering the ability to efficiently manage being an empath can significantly improve one’s life and relationships. Empaths tend to be approachable, compassionate, and naturally supportive. Being a trustworthy and nonjudgmental individual allows people to confide in you, relieving themselves of burdensome secrets and shame. This relief can be transformative, providing freedom from significant emotional weight. As an empath, your ability to easily sympathize with others makes you a valued family member or friend. Establishing clear boundaries with others enhances these positive interactions and maintains healthy relationships.
Four Steps to Overcoming Overactive Empathy
1. Centering yourself –
To manage energy effectively, learn to limit your reactions when dealing with others’ emotions. Stay present and aware of your feelings, distinguishing them from others’ emotions. This involves letting your internal awareness be more prominent than external events. Focus calmly and positively yourself rather than external situations and people you have no control over. Practice soothing yourself.
Practices such as meditation, Yoga, and Tai Chi can help maintain balance. Consider different methods for chakra balancing through guided videos. Improve your diet and hydrate well; taking care of oneself is grounding and centering.
Additional tips include decluttering and simplifying your living space for inner peace. Connect with nature through outdoor walks. Engage in hobbies or creative activities. Manage finances responsibly to create stability, which enhances self-esteem and resilience. Practice moderation in all activities.
2. Setting clear boundaries with others all the time –
Understand the boundaries between yourself and others. Feeling someone else’s emotions does not justify trying to control their feelings or worrying about their actions. It’s not anyone’s “soul purpose” or responsibility to fix, heal, or save another person. Such behavior, regardless of intent, is disrespectful and disempowering to another person. Be a support system, but with clear boundaries.
You are only responsible for your own emotions, reactions, and choices. It is acceptable to say ‘no’—”no” is a complete sentence with no need for justification or seeking approval. Your feelings are uniquely yours, and no one else has the right to deem them incorrect.
Be honest about how you feel, regardless of potential reactions from others. Maintain perspective and communicate directly and respectfully. Allow others to manage their own emotions and reactions as adults are responsible for their own reactions and issues. Constantly “fixing” or trying to please others can hinder their personal growth and their ability to learn to be truly accountable. Setting clear boundaries is essential.
3. Be conscious of empathy triggers –
Understanding your external empathy triggers – that’s to say, understanding which situations and people trigger as an “empath”. When you notice that you’re over-identifying with another person and their energy and emotions, bring your focus back to you. You can do this very simply by softly touching your skin, touching a piece of jewelry, anything – noticing how only you feel in that moment. Notice something that you like that refocuses you, “I like that picture” or “I like how soft this shirt is.”
Making these steps a habit can really help you in the moment to bring your empathy under control. You can also consciously ‘will’ your energy to return to you where your energy boundaries close back around you with intention. Ask your spirit guides for assistance. Take a moment to acknowledge your own feelings, and become aware of your peaceful, inner being.
4. Moving from unconscious empathy to making a conscious choice –
Understanding why you may not be managing your empathy effectively involves addressing self-limiting beliefs and unconscious choices that are hindering you. Setting new intentions for managing your energy through practicing clearing your space consciously through smudging and a quick meditation if needed. The tips provided are not working effectively, it is necessary to examine what is preventing you from fully controlling your own energy. Sometimes, there may be a reluctance to turn off empathy towards others due to feeling that it is required to be a true friend or partner, or subconsciously not wanting to do so.
Insights to Counter Overactive Empathy:
#1. Empathy was never meant to be used in a continuous, “always on” way.
When we spend too much time immersed in someone else’s difficult experiences, it can be draining. We become less effective for ourselves and others when we focus excessively on others. It’s challenging to provide support or assistance if we are in the same negative state as the person we are trying to help. Excessive empathy is often not beneficial to anyone or productive.
It’s important to redirect the absorbed emotions and energy back into a productive and positive manner for oneself like creative outlets, or positive distractions like 20 or 30-minute walks in nature. This approach allows for better well-being and enables more effective support for both you and others.
#2. Overactive empathy is unnecessary ‘self-sacrifice’.
When individuals absorb excessive negative energy from external sources, they become disconnected from their own sense of self. There is a lack of personal care, leading to an inability to perceive situations clearly due to the distractions caused by external focus.
Acts of self-sacrifice, such as prioritizing others’ needs above one’s own, can be draining. It’s important to recognize that self-sacrifice does not contribute to the highest good for all parties involved. No one’s purpose in life is to compromise their sense of self, feelings, beliefs, and needs to fix, save, or please others.
#3. Overactive empathy is linked to co-dependence.
If you are feeling someone else’s pain, besides that you want them to feel better, you may also try to take responsibility or “fix” that person because it becomes your pain too. When you want that pain or anxiety to end, you may become very attached to a situation or emotional state that isn’t yours.
Recognize what doesn’t belong to you, and give the responsibility and solutions for the situation back to that person. These situations can be quite enmeshing and confusing because boundaries become blurred. Recognize when you’re enabling someone and set healthy boundaries for everyone’s benefit.
Codependency can be linked to exhaustion from a reoccurring negative situation, fear of rejection or being alone, avoidance of conflict, inability to feel vulnerable and be okay with it, and a lack of a sense of self. See a counselor or research ways to stop co-dependent actions effectively. Get back to self-care.
Make a Decision to Manage Being An Empath
Managing overactive empathy is not an endeavor that will be resolved quickly, and it is important to recognize that this is acceptable. Positive outcomes often require time. Ultimately, the extent to which one learns to control empathic tendencies will have enduring benefits. It is advisable to allocate time each day to be mindful of one’s internal state.
The degree of control over empathic abilities will correlate with the level of effort invested. Concentrating on one strategy at a time and maintaining consistent effort is essential. Continue implementing effective methods and incorporate new positive actions periodically as necessary. While some individuals may resist these changes and newly established boundaries, it is crucial to remain undeterred. Respect and honor oneself throughout this process.
Clean Out Your Emotional Wounds
Writing “Letters of Release” is a highly effective method for addressing and processing emotional challenges and pain. This activity will help in initiating changes in one’s life by addressing past experiences. It aims to promote the release of feelings such as unworthiness, shame, guilt, resentment, and fear.
For those seeking to manage their emotions and support personal growth, it is important to address excuses, resistance, procrastination, and self-judgment. By consciously changing old habits that may no longer be beneficial and putting in consistent effort, progress will be made over time.
Maintaining a kind and compassinate attitude towards oneself is important. The way individuals treat themselves often influences how others will treat them. While loving spirit guides offer substantial help, personal responsibility is still essential for individual growth and action.
By making deliberate decisions and taking incremental actions, individuals can progress towards feeling more in control and empowered. This process can contribute to inner harmony and peace in one’s life.
Articles on setting healthy boundaries:
http://terricole.com/setting-and-enforcing-healthy-boundaries/
